Falling To Pieces
by Kayla Wilson
Summary: Merton has family and personal problems and he doesn't know how to deal. Angst!!!!
1. I'm going to paint a picture...

Big Wolf Fic- Falling to Pieces  
  
Title: If you don't know already u deserve a flogging  
  
Rating: R/PG-13- Adult issues and maybe mild/medium cussing  
  
Genre: Angst/Drama  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own big wolf or the characters. I also don't own anything that is worth suing for.  
  
Summary: Merton has some family problems and he doesn't know how to deal. This is angsty, has abuse, and self-inflicted injuries. In other words: not nice topics!  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Merton lay awake in bed, listening to the sounds of his drunken father, beating on his mother. His parents were fighting a lot lately, mainly because his dad kept coming home and drinking.  
  
They would fight and his father would get violent.  
  
Becky would retreat to her room but Merton was down in the Lair anyway. Merton was more often than not the topic of his father's conversation, many of the things said about him was: about how he was different from the other kids, his grades, his room, his clothes, how he kept getting beaten up and last but not least: how he wasn't on the football team.  
  
Most nights when this happened, Becky would come and sleep with Merton down in the Lair. Tonight she came and stood at the edge of Merton's bed. Merton smiled sadly at her and pulled back the covers. She quickly hopped in next to him and wrapped her arms around her big brother as tears began to leak from her chocolate brown eyes.  
  
The next morning, Merton and Becky woke up, Becky went to her room and Merton got dressed down in the Lair. He came up to the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. Becky came out soon after and got her own breakfast.  
  
Merton's mum then came down and so did his father. They were told to go sit down in the living room because their parents wanted to talk to them.  
  
That was when Merton's mother dropped the bombshell and his life turned upside down:  
  
"Your father and I have decided it would be better for all of us if we got a divorce. Merton since you are seventeen you can decide who you will live with. Your father is going to move out."  
  
Becky promptly burst into tears, Merton's face remained impassive as he got up from the couch and walked out to the Lair.  
  
TBC.  
  
A/N: Okay. should I continue? Comments? Suggestions? Critisism?(I can't spell today)  
  
I am still going on with Souls Don't Prevent Sin, I just had this idea in my head all day. 


	2. A picture with a twist...

Falling to Pieces  
  
Merton paced his lair, thinking about his predicament.  
  
What is going to happen to me? Merton thought, miserably. Merton knew he would go to live with his father, there was no way he was letting Becky live with that abusive bastard.  
  
Merton packed up his school stuff and remembered to grab his guitar. Recently he had joined a band, playing lead guitar and vocals. He and the band, played at the Factory on Saturday nights, and today he had practice.  
  
Merton didn't want anyone to know about his parents yet, so he went about his day as normal. Well he tried, anyway. Merton was at his locker getting his Bio books. After he got the books out, realisation hit him.  
  
My parents are getting divorced. Their decision is going to change my life. I won't see Becky and my Mom. My Dad could move out of town and I would have to change schools. Merton felt someone tap his shoulder.  
  
"Yo Merton, you okay?" It was Tommy.  
  
Merton stared impassively at him before replying, "Yeah." Merton closed his locker when Lori walked up to them.  
  
"Hi Lori," Tommy said cheerfully.  
  
"Hi Tommy, Merton," Lori said in an unusually chipper voice.  
  
Merton was sick of being surrounded by happy people and walked away from his friends.  
  
Tommy and Lori just stared after Merton, eyes wide.  
  
LATER…  
  
Merton grabbed his electric guitar and made his way to his friend, Dhani's house.  
  
In his band there were four people; him, Dhani (Bass), James (Drums), and Devon (Guitar too). They practised every Thursday at Dhani's house. Merton secretly liked Dhani.  
  
When she spoke the first things you noticed about her was her accent and her hair. Dhani moved to Pleasantville last year from Australia. She only celebrated Australian holidays and would sometimes get homesick.  
  
Ever since Merton had known her, she had this cool hairstyle. It was long and straight, the top half was bleach blonde and the bottom half, neon blue.  
  
She was really into rock music. Blink 182, being one of her favourites and Australian bands; The Living End, 28 Days, Regurgitator and Silverchair. The band had actually played a few of those songs, the band's name was Conspiracy of Conscience.  
  
Devon was a Goth like Merton who was really heavily into Papa Roach, and System of a Down. He also wore black contacts.  
  
James was a quiet and shy skateboarder, who was an incredible drummer. His music tastes leant towards the Offspring (pre-Americana), Greenday and Nirvana.  
  
Merton knocked on Dhani's front door. He heard her laughing hysterically at something, probably her collection of The 12th Man cd's. They were CD's about cricket, a lot of send ups of famous Australian cricket dudes that Merton didn't know about.  
  
He knocked on the door and he heard her growl in frustration. She opened the door with a scowl on her face, when she saw who it was her face softened.  
  
"Hey Merton," she greeted coolly. She was wearing a black T-Shirt that said, "My mummy says I'm special."  
  
"Hi, are Devon and James here?" Merton asked as he walked inside.  
  
"No not yet, but they shouldn't be too far away." She resumed her CD and it was going on about an MCG, Rugs and Plugs and someone saying two and tchoo.  
  
TBC…..  
  
Okay, sorry for the Australian culture references but I had to make Dhani seem like an Australian. Britt Neval, if you read this you'll get it. Hopefully.  
  
Yes this will be a Merton/Dhani fic. Dhani is my character and if you don't like her well Sphincter says? (Insert fart noise here)  
  
Tell me what you think. Comments? Criticism? Suggestions?  
  
I also love Lord of the Rings… ~Grabs Legolas and Frodo in bear hug, pets Legolas' hair~ I wuv you!! You are too cute!!!  
  
Frodo and Legolas: ~sweatdrop~  
  
Okay I'm going now….. 


	3. I'll do it with a razorblade...

Falling to Pieces Chapter III  
  
I need to do a quick disclaimer cuz I use a song in this chapter: Blink 182: I love you guys and your music but unfortunately I don't own you, but I would like to. I also don't own any of your songs. I don't know Blink 182, I am just their biggest fan. But I am not aloud to go to Big Day Out and I am seriously pissed about it.  
  
"Hi James! Hi Devon! Ready to practise, I want to try a new song!" Dhani said when James and Devon arrived.  
  
"What kind of song?" James asked he started to fiddle on the drums.  
  
"I want to do another Blink 182 song. Something sad, like Adam's Song or Stay Together for the Kids."  
  
The second song struck a nerve with Merton and he thought about the Blink CD that Dhani had lent him one day. " I've heard that one, it's the one about a kids perspective on their parent's divorce, right?"  
  
"Yeah that's it!" Dhani said, excitedly.  
  
"Well let's listen to it then and then we will have a go a sorting it out." Devon said while tuning his guitar.  
  
They put the CD on and they all listened intently. They then attempted to play the song, having to refer back to the CD.  
  
Eventually they got the instrumental down pat and then Merton came in with the vocals.  
  
"It's hard to wake up,  
  
When the shades have been pulled shut,  
  
This house is haunted,  
  
It's so pathetic,  
  
It makes no sense at all.  
  
I'm ripe with things to say,  
  
The words rot and fall away,  
  
What stupid poem,  
  
Could fix this home I'd read it every day.  
  
So here's your holiday,  
  
Hope you enjoy it this time,  
  
You gave it all away.  
  
It was mine.  
  
So when you're dead and gone,  
  
Will you remember this night,  
  
Twenty years now lost,  
  
It's not right.  
  
Their anger hurts my ears.  
  
Been running strong for seven years.  
  
Rather than fix the problems  
  
They never solve them,  
  
It makes no sense at all.  
  
I see them every day,  
  
We get along so why can't they,  
  
If it's what he wants and  
  
It's what she wants,  
  
Then why is there so much pain.  
  
Merton felt tears prick his eyes as he sang the chorus again. This song hit home hard. Merton managed to finish the song without him bursting into tears. But as soon as it finished he packed up his guitar and threw an excuse over his shoulders to the others and then left.  
  
Two Days Later…  
  
Tonight was his last night in his home. His father was not allowing him to take all his "Freaky Stuff" as his dad called it. He packed his clothes and his CDs and player, his guitar and amp and a few family photos. As Merton reached the stairs he took one last look at his room and trudged slowly up the staircase.  
  
Becky had told Tommy and Lori about the divorce and they kept trying to comfort him. He would just shrug them off and walk away. He didn't need their pity.  
  
2 months later…  
  
Merton was actually quite content living with his dad, he had stopped drinking and actually took time off work to hang out with him.  
  
But eventually the bills piled up and Merton's dad went back to working from 6am to 7pm. Soon after that the drinking started up again and one evening his dad came home, drunk and stumbling. Merton had been reading a book.  
  
"What are you doing?" Mr. Dingle asked angrily.  
  
"N-Nothing," Merton said quietly. He could smell the alcohol coming off his father in overpowering waves. Before he could stand up his father had grabbed him by the collar and was shaking him violently.  
  
"Don't lie to me, you little son of a bitch!"  
  
Merton tried to get away from his father but the shaking from the older man had begun to make him sick, he felt the need to vomit desperately and the stench of his father was not helping any. Merton was then thrown into a wall. He held back his cries, as his father kicked and punched him. He hoped to give the man no satisfaction.  
  
Merton had the wind knocked out of him as his father kicked him in the stomach. "You good for nothing jackass, do you here me Merton?"  
  
His father smiled as Merton gasped trying to regain his breath. His father continued to beat on his son as he yelled and verbally abused him. "You'll never amount to anything, do you hear me!?!?!?! You're a worthless piece of shit!!!!!"  
  
His father continued his assault on the teenager, "You're always getting picked on! Your grades are pathetic and all you do is lie around all day. You're a lazy piece of shit!"  
  
Merton knew the things he was saying were lies but that didn't make the words any less hurtful. He had been making A's in all of his classes. And the only people who picked on him any more were TnT, and their attacks were few and far between. When he got home he would clean the townhouse they were renting, he cooked, and one day a week he figured out the bills and other payments they had to make. He did everything.  
  
Mr.Dingle picked Merton up punched him once more and then said,"Maybe you'll think next time you do something stupid, you little bastard." And he watched as Merton slumped to the floor.  
  
Merton tried to hold the tears back, but a lone one escaped and anyway. Once his breath was under control, his vain attempt to stand, failed, so he slumped to the ground and let the darkness engulf him.  
  
TBC…  
  
Ain't I a stinker? I will try and have the next chapter up soon to satisfy all my loyal fans! Thankyou!!!!! 


	4. I'll do it on my wrist

Falling To Pieces Chapter 4 I'll Do It On My Wrist.  
  
Hey Sorry that its taken so long to update. well a year actually. well I suffered a huge loss. and this chapter hit really close to home as the day after I finished it my close friend at school committed suicide. So. know how hard it is to post this fic. and don't judge. Also as a side note. Suicide will never be a way out from problems. it just creates grief and immense sadness for those you love.  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
Merton groaned, as sunlight seeped though the window onto his battered and bruised face. He blinked as he willed his eyes to focus. He picked himself up off the floor where he had collapsed and wandered into the bathroom of the seedy townhouse. For a long time Merton stared into the mirror at himself. What did he have to live for? He got beat up every afternoon, he no longer had a family, he had shunned his friends and his band, and was the most hated student at his school. 'Really Merton,' he thought to himself. 'What do you have to offer the world?' He kept staring. 'Exactly. Nothing.' Merton pushed himself away from the basin and checked his watch, 'SHIT school started in ten minutes!' He ran downstairs and got into his hearse. He put the keys in the ignition, and the car stalled. Merton rested his face in his arms on the steering wheel, and broke into sobs. Why would nothing in his life go right? What was wrong with him? He got out of the car and walked back upstairs to his room. He put on his Papa Roach CD and put it on Last Resort.  
  
Cut my life into pieces/ I've reached my last resort/ Suffocation, No Breathing/ Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding/ This is my last resort/  
  
Merton then went to the kitchen and grabbed the largest knife he could find. All of a sudden he heard a knock at his door. He put down the knife and answered the door. There stood Dhani, a cheery look on her face. "Hey Merton!" she chirped. "Hey Dhani. wat are you doin' here?" Merton asked cautiously. She seemed to remember what she came for." Oh! You left your amp at my house two weeks ago! I've been meaning to give it back. So here it is!" She handed over the amp. "um.. thanks Dhani," Merton said awkwardly grabbing the amp. "Anyway, I gotta run, Merton.I'll call you tonight and we'll organise another practise!!" with an impish smile. She bounced back down stairs to her car and drove off. Merton went back and picked up the knife and wandered back into his room. He sat it down on his desk and pulled out a piece of paper and began to write.  
  
To anyone who cares,  
  
Cut my life into pieces. I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding. Would it be wrong would it be right If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might. Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide. Cause I'm losing my sight losing my mind. Whish somebody would tell me I'm fine. Nothing's alright, nothing is fine. I'm running and I'm crying. I never realised I was spread too thin. Till it was too late and I was empty within. Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin. Downward spiral, where do I begin. It all started when I lost my mother. No love for myself and no love for another. Searching to find a love upon a higher lever. Finding nothing but questions and devils.  
  
I can't go on living this way.  
  
So when you find me. please know that this is my last resort...  
  
So I'm going to paint a picture, A picture with a twist, I'll do it with a razor blade, I'll do it on my wrist, And the picture creates a fountain, And soon the blood will flow, I've finally found my escape, I'm freed of woe and sorrow.  
  
Remember me for me. not for how I've departed.  
  
Merton.  
  
He folded the paper and walked with it and the knife over to his bed. For some reason he was strangely. This would make it all better. Nothing would bother him in eternal nothingness. He picked up the knife and exposed his arms, and cut deep and long from elbow to wrist. It was strange. Merton knew it was painful. but the pain made him feel better. It made him want to laugh. He felt light-headed and the last thing he knew before he was enveloped by the darkness was that he was finally free. 


End file.
